Waiting

I have not written in awhile because there is not really anything to report, and I feel like my trip is in some suspended state. I've done most of my preparations, and now I'm just constantly waiting. It is actually surprisingly distracting--I've been trying to productive because it's the week before finals and in these last two weeks I have one project, four presentations, three 10-page papers, an annotated bibliography of 25 sources, a German writing assignment, and two finals, but whenever I get started working on something I find my mind wandering to Dortmund... Tonight I am supposed to be working on a paper, but instead, I've been reading travel blogs from students that are studying in Germany. I believe it is safe to say that researching Germany has become my new favorite way to procrastinate :-) At least this research will have a positive influence on my future--not like spending my time on facebook or youtube.

Truthfully, I'm a little conflicted about this trip. I keep going back and forth from being so excited that I can't stand it and I want to go tomorrow to being terrified of leaving home, Kevin, and "the norm." I guess this is a normal reaction for someone who has never really left the country. Here are some things that have been running through my head lately:

I am very excited about the fact that I will not be attending Maryville College next semester. Don't get me wrong, I love my school, and I am glad that I chose to attend this college, but this has been a really rough semester (complete with some total breakdowns because my academic load is ridiculously heavy this semester) and I'm glad that I can leave for a semester. I feel like I will not be as burnt out on Maryville my senior year since I will be gone for awhile, and that is a good thing. Reversely, I am open to (and a little weary of) the fact that I will be very frustrated with Maryville when I get back from Germany, especially if my trip goes really well (hmmm, I should probably say when my trip goes really well, but I'm trying not to give myself any unrealistic expectations).

My biggest fear about studying in Germany is that something is going to happen to my family or Kevin, and there will be absolutely nothing I can do. I know this is a pessimistic subject, but it's a valid concern, and it really scares me. There's really not much that I can write about it (besides the annoying dialogs and hypothetical situations that keep running through my head, and I will spare you those), but I just want to go ahead and say that this fear is there and will be something that I will have to deal with quite a bit once I am gone.

It is killing me that I still have to wait so long before I leave (I leave in exactly 3 months 1 day...I arrive in 3 months and 2 days). This anticipation is exponentially increasing both my excitement and my fear--to the point that I'm starting to feel like I am going to explode! I wish I could just go so I no longer have to deal with these increasingly conflicting emotions.

I've been getting more emails from Dortmund. They are pretty informative and helpful. In my last one, I learned that bedding and cooking utensils will be provided, but I need to bring towels. That's a little unfortunate because towels take up a lot of room in luggage...I need to buy some cheap thin ones. Eww.

Here are some really important things that I still need to do:
*Go have more passport photos taken. I need to take a number of passport pictures with me for various ids and stuff--I'm glad that they will not be the same as my passport picture because that is possibly the worst picture of me in existence!
*That whole money thing. I still to convert money to Euros, and I will be doing that soon because the exchange rate is fairly decent right now (about $1.25=1€). I also need to acquire travelers checks and talk to my bank about leaving.
*Making copies of EVERYTHING. I figure I can do this at my mom's school in February since I will not have anything else to do...

Wow, this is really long considering I didn't think I had anything to say...Tschüss!